"The Blackfeather Convergence"

Common Sense

Just listen to this quote,
"When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber." Sir Winston Churchill.
What the fuck does that mean? Was someone just kissing this mother fucker's ass? Might as well say when the eagle is full, the monkey can laugh. He may have been a guy at a time when he was needed, but let us not make him into a deity.
 
I liked his "when you are moving through hell, keep moving." something like that but I say smarter things than that when...... how about this ......I will just make something up; "When a hurricane is rising, it makes you take a look at the concept of value."
I am not saying what I said was of anything other than just making up a piece of crap. But some will say, "Well, he actually does have something to say here. When threatened with loss, you must think about what you want to keep." Any, fucking idiot on earth can write something like that.
 
"Apples and Oranges" is a pretty good analogy. It conveys the concept that you are not talking about the same thing. There are some that work in a certain way, but they have nothing to do with reality. We all need to classify things that we really do not understand into things that we do understand. I don't really understand what you are saying but it seems a lot like, "Apples and Oranges". I understand, Apples and Oranges.
 

I love good food, but great food is better

I lived a life for almost a decade of eating great food. Fillet mignon, lobster, Beef Wellington, et al. But I also began appreciating chicken. Chicken is more of a neutral canvas upon which the artist creates the flavor.

There is no finer artist in many ways as a chef. There art deals not only in taste, but sight, smell and texture. If I could go back to my first job in New Orleans Square in Disneyland I would have continued training with Rudy, the Swiss Master Chef of Club 33. Now there was a man that drank on the job! I might have developed a bad habit early in life. Or maybe having a direction would have kept me from being who I became.

I miss all, time is fleeting.

Do you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4O2FkcMkNI0

Bartenders and Customer

I have always had an interesting relationship with bartenders. I tip big so they will like me. So that keeps everything at a distance. Well everything except my heart. I am a pretty shallow person which was pointed out by a very hot cocktail waitress named Angie years ago.

She asked me if I ever hung around with a woman that.......

Nevermind.

I had a friend named Juan

Several years ago I had a friend named Juan. He and I would hang out together all the time. We would go to parties where not only was I the only white guy there, I was the only one that spoke only English. Juan and I had such a great time laughing at how funny the situation was. And we both loved tequila and dos equis.

Julian and I would shoot Tequila and Julian does not drink.

Many times I would wake up in the morning on Juan and Shari's couch. Juan was or is a wonderful human being. His whole life is about helping people, putting other people first. I have tried to find out about what happened but there are no records.

If, indeed he did kill Shari I hope he is on a beach in Mexico or Costa Rica. I would like to hang out in Costa Rica with my friend. But we will cry a lot. We will cry a lot. We both loved the same person.

But Shari, like me, like Reilly, are people that are hard to love. We may not even deserve to be loved.

I was one time done with Reilly and Shari grabbed me by the head and looking into my eyes said, "Bill if it is not for you Reilly would have no one that loves her. Everyone needs to have someone that loves them. So suck it up because you are the one."

Loving Anita is a piece of cake.

catch a falling star

catch a falling star and put it in your pocket

never let it fade away.

I was at Tuts and Marcos came into the bar. I looked into his eyes and my tears started. He came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Billy, Juan killed Shari, I don't know a way to tell you, and I am so sorry." and we cried.

But he said Timeteo needed to get in touch with me and I never got back to him. Juan needs to be saved too. Juan is an awesome human being. So was Shari. I guess we all are in our own way.

We are our own shining star. we all are. even the spider that just crawled over my foot is just doing the best she can with what she was given. That is all we can hope for.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_VpjSv_4QM

letter to my friend Garrett

We bump into people and we effect their lives as their lives effect us. it is that whole butterfly wing thing. had we not walked by Boulevard Motors I would not have bought the Allante.

Fuck, I just can not let Shari go. I want to be a Christian just so I can know she is in heaven.

But this hurts too much and I can not let it go.

Kelly had the guy that would get rid of Juan for a couple thousand dollars. I could have saved Shari's life. But it would have ended Juan's. Juan and I became like brothers. He killed Shari. Some butterfly in Asia flapped it's wings and Shari died.

I want to go back to the previous millennium.

Reilly was awesome

The reason I love Reilly so much is this;

All the cocktail waitresses and I were drinking one night and they all told me how little my bartenter thought about me. But Reilly said it was not what she thought about me but what I thought about her. Reilly was, is , awsome.

The bartender never gave a shit about me. But it does not matter, I loved being around her. Reilly was awesome in the ............fuck Reilly was awesome.

If I could be with anyone; Stephanie Dyche

If I could spend the rest of my life with anyone it would be with Stephanie. She is beautiful, she has a huge heart, she is awesomely intelligent, she is everything that a human being would want to be with.

But I have nothing to offer.

Love's been good to me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9hR-pPSOq0

I often try to ignore the fact of being alone.  I try to act like it does not matter. I try to act like I am okay with it. I am not okay with it. I hope you all have someone to love. I wish I had someone to love. I really wish someone loved me. Not much about me to love. I really am going to regret hitting the save button. But it will be honest.